Friday Five: Cats or Dogs or What?

Jan over at RevGalBlogPals has this week’s Friday Five:

In my experience in the United States, people are either “Dog People” or “Cat People.” So I am wondering about pets and experiences with them.

Well, you HAVE seen this video, haven’t you?

OK, on with the questions…

1. Are you a DOG or a CAT person? Or OTHER?

Oh, I do love our cats. Since we’ve been married, we’ve had 7 cats (sometimes more than one at a time.) I enjoy other people’s dogs, but I haven’t had the urge to add a dog to the household. We do have fish. But other than eating food, fish don’t make much of a connection.

2. Who were the pets of your childhood and what were they like?

We had mostly cats. The most recent ones my parents had were named after Dr. Seuss characters: Sam-I-am and Hoos Foos. (Hoos and Foos were TWO cats, a brother and a sister. They “let!” us take home two! My mom was NOT amused.) The exceptions to the cats were remarkable, irreplaceable dogs. The last dog we owned was a gorgeous, slightly goofy St. Bernard named Fezzik. (No, he didn’t rhyme.) He had many funny attributes, not the least of which was being “class clown” at his obedience school.

3. What pets do you have now?

3 cats, fish and a snake. The snake couldn’t go to college, but now that he has a diploma, he will be moving on. No, no. We INSIST.

4. Have you ever had any unusual pets in your household or visit your home?

Well our ball python was probably the most unusual one I expected to see in my own home. The other unusual one was the gecko who climbed up and down the curtains at a friend’s home during a La Leche League meeting.

5. What have you learned from your pets? Give one recent example, if possible.

Among other things, it’s OK to stop and smell what’s on the wind. And that just about ANYTHING can be a toy if you’re in the mood to play.

BONUS: Pictures or anything else related to animals you love.

Henry: My study buddy and all-around lap warmer model.

Tiria, in one of her many sleeping spots. She is the shy but beautiful one. Funny thing about her: I can pet her all I want if it’s at night and she can’t see me.

Polgara, the elder statescat. Her arthritic joints love her heated bed.

Calvin the ball python – putting in an appearance as a scrunchie. He’s a WEE BIT BIGGER now.

“That could be me…” Reflecting on a parallel life

“That could be me…”

The nurse’s eyes met mine as I stood across from her at the patient’s bedside. She is young, in her mid-20s. A city girl, her fare card slipped into the back of her ID badge holder, she is manicured and physically fit. I note her friendly smile and caring ways. And it seems like she has everything to live for and years to do it.

Her patient and mine lay sedated in the bed between us. Her complexion was waxen. Her breathing, heartbeat and other vital signs were monitored and controlled by machines. In the last week, she had not opened her eyes nor given more than a token response to stimuli from the medical team. The prognosis was not good.

In the early morning hours of the hospital, I try to make rounds to check on my sickest patients. Sometimes it is to offer a cup of coffee to a family member holding a bedside vigil. Sometimes it is to come and pray silently and offer words of comfort, reassurance, and release. And sometimes, it is simply to offer a compassionate, understanding ear to my co-workers, who have less time to reflect and process the ups and downs of life. It is a sacred trust.

“She has my name. And I’m just a year older.” We shake our heads. “And then there’s the pictures her family brought in…” We glance at the photo of a laughing, lovely young woman. The ‘Before’ picture underscores the serious medical issues she has.

I stroke the patient’s hand. It is young, soft and unwrinkled. It doesn’t seem right, some how. “Do you mind if I pray over her?” I ask.

“Not at all,” she says, “in fact, I think it helps me stay grounded.”

I smile. “Yes, me too.” I open my prayer book and begin to read, softly…

“Almighty God, by your gentle power you raised Jesus Christ from death. Watch over this child of yours…”

My words are accompanied by the sounds of whooshing machines, bells and a buzzing pressure cuff. I try to give them inflection and heart. The nurse continues to hang medications and check the lines as I read on…

“…Banish fear. Brush away tears…”

I finish the reading and quietly say the Lord’s Prayer. The nurse joins me. And at our “Amen” we both brush away tears.

“I’ve never said this to my pastor,” she says, “but I really struggle with this… with someone so young.”

I nod. “Yeah. Me too.”

She sighed. “I’m afraid if I tell them that, that they’ll tell me I don’t have faith. But I want to hit something. It makes me angry. Like… why that little boy in Boston? Or a hurricane? Or a tornado? Why suffering? Why pain?”

We stand in silence and I finally answer.

“I don’t have any answers to those whys… in fact, I have moments where I punch a pillow and cry, or sit and stare… at nothing. And it’s hard to sleep. I only know that we live in a broken world, a world where sin gets to rule. And that one day, the world we see when we open our eyes will be beautiful and perfect…”

We stand in silence, together for a few more seconds. Our eyes meet.

“It doesn’t answer my questions. It doesn’t always make me feel better.” I shrug. “But until I fully understand, there will still be days that I want to punch something. And ask God all of my whys and why nots!”

She smiles. “Now I get it! That’s why I love kickboxing so much!”

Chuckles move us to our next tasks. She to perform the next care for the young woman, so still in front of us… me to drop by and see the next patient or family member.

Living in this tension of the now and not yet… of the unaswered question reminds me of a song by Jeremy Riddle – “The face of death, it haunts too many eyes…”  Yet even in the questions, the wonderings, the grumblings and confusion… still I believe God is there. Waiting. Embracing. Listening. And not judging my anger and feeble attempts to make sense of The Infinite with my very finite mind…

Here now we’re coming
Humbly now we’re waiting
Children in need of daily bread
Our storehouses are empty
Our burdens are weighty
Pain, disease, and strife on every side

Father, Father in heaven, in heaven
Holy, Holy is Your name, Your name
Let Your Kingdom, let Your Kingdom
Let it come, Lord, let it come, Lord
On earth God, on earth
As in Heaven, in Heaven

Hear the cry of Your children
Your sons and Your daughters
Born of Your Spirit
To You we cry Abba

The hungry still hungry
The thirsty still thirsty
The face of death, it haunts too many eyes
Whom else can we look to
There is no help but You
Your rule and reign is needed on the earth

“Look! God’s dwelling is here with humankind. He will dwell with them, and they will be his peoples. God himself will be with them as their God. ⁴ He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more. There will be no mourning, crying, or pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”  Rev 21: 3b-4

One day. Yes.

Thanks be to God.

For Pentecost – A prayer: “Make my heart like Yours”

I had an entirely different meditation written for Pentecost Sunday and didn’t have time to post it before church this morning… and then I came across this and decided it was the fullest expression of the indwelling Spirit I could think of… It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit would so wrap me in Her wisdom, gifting and power that my heart would be as Christ’s…

So I offer this for reflection and worship.

Blow, Spirit. Blow on me.

From the desire of being praised, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the desire of being honoured, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the desire of being preferred, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the desire of being consulted, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the desire of being approved, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the desire of comfort and ease, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the fear of being humiliated, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the fear of being criticized, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the fear of being passed over, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the fear of being forgotten, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the fear of being lonely, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the fear of being hurt, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

From the fear of suffering, deliver me, Jesus.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

That others may be chosen and I set aside,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like yours.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.
O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, strengthen me with your Spirit.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.
O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, teach me your ways.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
help me put my self importance aside
to learn the kind of cooperation with others
that makes possible the presence of your Abba’s household.
Lord, have mercy on me, make my heart like yours.

original credits from the prayer book, For Jesuits, 1963, Loyola University

Friday Five: Be On Your Way

RevGal Jan is under the weather, so we are swapping weeks for the Friday Five and I’m hosting this week over at RevGalBlogPals. (Feel better, Jan!) Actually, I want to thank her because she inspired me when she recently shared this poem by Rumi:

It’s your road, and yours alone.
Others may walk it with you,
but no one can walk it for you.

A road in Bavaria.

I reflected on this poem for a while and thought about some new “roads” that our progeny are beginning. Both are graduating (one from high school, one from college). The Johnnie (on the right) graduated last Sunday  and has several options she is pursuing for the fall. She will know in God’s good time where that will be. Reedy Girl (on the left)  is now set to go to St. John’s College, which will also make her a Johnnie! To avoid confusion, my Beloved Bearded Spouse suggested we call them J2D2 and J1D1.

J2D2 and J1D1

To add to the familial upheaval, I am also looking at a possible new “road” in a much hoped-for job. It’s been a winding path to get this point! So in thinking about our life’s journey, and the rhythm of our lives, here’s five questions on this theme…

1. What “road” is in your immediate future? 

I sincerely hope a job with more regular hours, with more of them being on the same schedule as the rest of my family. Right now I work overnights, and it’s pretty tiring. I usually describe it as having jet lag a couple of times a week. Without the cool destinations.

2. Where have you been “traveling” a lot lately — and are you going back there? 

Well, literally I’ve been traveling to Annapolis lately! And we will be back there in August. Spiritually and vocationally, I’ve been traveling some hard roads with my patients and their families. God’s love, grace, forbearance and kindness shines through. Every. Single. Time. And I get to watch.

3.  Who are your fellow travelers? 

Well — there’s my lovely progeny, above, and my wonderful spouse. My mom, sibs and their families. Friends and co-workers. A host of RevGals. And people who read this blog. (I am still kind of bemused that people I’ve never met IRL follow my blog. Thank you!)

4.  Who are the unintentional companions (or hitchhikers) that you find on the road with you? 

Probably those hurts and slights that have wounded me, but God has reminded me are not mine to keep. I am taking to heart the wisdom from Hebrews 12:1-2a

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.

5.  As a family, we always recite “the traveler’s prayer” — a tongue-in-cheek petition as we pull out of the driveway (“Lord, whatever we have forgotten, may it not be important!”) What have you forgotten lately, and did it matter?

What I have forgotten lately is a L-O-N-G list of things! In the long run, nope. It really didn’t matter.

BONUS: Share a photo of a road you’ve traveled. Or of traveling companions who have made the journey special. Or perhaps there’s a song or another poem that suits your journey. Since I’ve shared some photos, here’s a song… This Road by Jars of Clay says it pretty well for me.

All heavy laden acquainted with sorrow
May Christ in our marrow, carry us home
From alabaster come blessings of laughter
A fragrance of passion and joy from the truth

Grant the unbroken tears ever flowing
From hearts of contrition only for You
May sin never hold true that love never broke through
For God’s mercy holds us and we are His own

This road that we travel,
may it be the straight and narrow
God give us peace and grace from You,
all the day
Shelter with fire,
our voices we raise still higher
God give us peace and grace from You,
all the day through.

God restores my soul…

After my on call hours last week, I crawled into bed with a heavy, sad heart. My feelings were a mess; my mind a sort of emotional blender, as I was tied up in an unresolved situation with a family in my care. (I can’t even go into the details. Trust me. It was terrible.) I wept angry tears. I wanted to punch something. Instead, I prayed, posted a quick SOS to some stalwart prayer peeps, and tried to rest. The phone kept ringing. A fundraiser knocked on the door. I was ready to lose it. Again.

I settled back on the bed, purring cat beside me, and decided that I would recite the first Bible verses that came to mind in a measured, meditative way. What came to mind? Psalm 23? How ironic.

These are the Bible verses that I learned when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I say them with families at the bedside. Recite them at funerals. Listen to hymn settings of these very, very familiar words. A few weeks ago I even blogged about this Psalm here…

But as I closed my eyes and began to speak these familiar phrases, I found myself returning to one phrase, over and over…

He restoreth my soul.

God does restore my soul. The trick I’ve learned as a chaplain is to admit when I so desperately NEED God’s restorative touch. To carve out space in my extroverted self to reflect, review, renew and restart. To operate from a place of internal rest, not external action.

Part of my restoring work last week involved sitting quietly on the patio, listening to the birds and watching the wild rabbits forage for dandelions. I also baked some scones as a gift of love for the high school’s Teacher Appreciation Week. I folded some laundry. Did some stretching. And took a walk about the block.

My soul was still heavy and sad. But there was light, hope and peace in the distance.

Soaking in God’s Creation

When I walk back into work this week, the situation may have been temporarily resolved. But I will take up my job of listening, caring and companioning those who are still struggling with its aftermath.

I am a chaplain. God restores my soul.

On-call musing…

It started like any other shift… Take report, prioritize call-backs, round through critical care areas and Emergency… The pager has been constantly going off. The incidents I’m responding to are full of emotion and pain and loss. And the house is pretty full tonight, so there’s lots of stressed and grumpy staff to boot. All in all, I guess it’s a pretty normal night.

I handed out all my tissues well before 8 pm and came back to re-stock my pockets… And I just wasn’t ready to go back up on the floor. At first, I wasn’t sure why, until I reflected on the stories that were shared and the prayers that were offered in response. Tonight the pain and loss are very deep and the shock to the families so real, so raw that you can see the lines of pain and anguish on the faces of the staff and the visitors. I stopped to regroup and pray. I wasn’t ready to get back in the dance yet. It’s the way it works sometimes…

As I sat and stared at my cubicle wall, refilling my quota of tissues (and procrastinating) a couple of nurses came by with ice cream treats for Nurses Week. No, I’m not a nurse… But that little gift lifted my Spirits. Ice cream… What’s not to like? And then they asked that, in return, if I could give them a blessing… Which of course, I could.

In a quiet space I stopped to thank God with my sisters, remembering that if God is present in the Bread and Cup, then when we invite the Spirit’s Presence, is there in ice cream treats too.

Thanks be to God…

God is always coming to you in the Sacrament of the Present Moment. Meet and receive God there with gratitude in that Sacrament.
(Evelyn Underhill)

Friday Five: May Play Edition

From RevGal Pat:

It’s May! And it smells so good outside. I can close my eyes and remember the golden hours after dinner as the days grew later and later, and we got to play outside until called home. It makes me want to go outside right now and play! Of course, not all of us are in the northern hemisphere… plenty of RevGals and Pals are experiencing a season that is turning cold and blustery. So to all of you, wherever you may be, how will you (or would you like to) play this month?

Bananagrams!

1. Tell about your favorite outdoor play: I LOVE volleyball. It’s not exactly a sport you can play by yourself. However, whenever there’s an opportunity for embarrassing myself in front of a group of friends, I love joining into a game. I played intramural volleyball in college and co-rec in grad school. And, in the interests of honesty, I played with a lot more enthusiasm than skill.

2. Tell about your favorite indoor play: This is a toss up between our family favorites of Mexican Train, Bananagrams, Apples2Apples and Scrabble. We’re an exciting bunch, aren’t we?

3. Tell about a game you (or your friends) created: My family has a version of Solitaire that is now in its second generation of devotees called ‘Thwappa-wappa.” Yes. It’s four-handed Solitaire. (Or five or six — but it gets a little dicey with more than that.) It is a cut-throat, killer-competitive game where, yes, you play Solitaire (the three-at-a-time card turn version) and play on everyone’s aces in the middle.

4. Tell about a game that is new to you: Draw Something, perhaps? It’s one of the newer games on my phone/iPad. In non-electronic form, it would be Bananagrams.

5. Tell how you would like to incorporate play into your workday: My workday at present is all night. So the only way I get to “play” is if I pull out my phone and play a round of Words With Friends.

In full bloom: a season of growth and change

Every year, it happens. Every year, usually the end of March, it seems impossible. Spring shows up in all of its hyperactive glory! What a wondrous thing!!

A hydrangea bush, which 2 weeks ago was timidly peeping through the mulch, today has burst through the supportive wire frame and is working at setting buds and sprouting new branches. Though it’s chilly today, the pollen count and fresh growth in my garden tells me that spring is definitely here.

There’s lots of change ahead for our family. The Johnnie is about to graduate. Reedy Girl will soon head to college and become our second Johnnie. I am taking two courses between now and the end of July, one on-line and one at a conference, and continuing my per diem chaplain work. (And, Lord willing, a job interview…) Bearded Brewer has new assignments and challenges at work. We will have a summer of change, moving, packing, shopping, new jobs… and it will require a lot of flexibility and patience with one another. (I tell myself this because the carefully orchestrated life of the public schools will be gone, and in its place, four busy adults, 2 young and 2 not-so-young, will take its place.)

Change is wonderful. Change is exciting. Change can also be… terrifying, inconvenient and unfamiliar.

If I take each day in this season and enjoy its newness and delight, there is much to be excited about. Consider this photo of our crabapple tree in the front yard, bursting with loveliness:

Crabapple tree at its peak.

Just a few short weeks ago, it looked like this:

Even as the petals fell off, I enjoyed the final kiss of blossoms on our sidewalk:

In all three, there is a burst of beauty that lasts only for a moment. And in our lives, there is much of the same.

Recently, when I held the hand of a patient, she asked me to pray that she would “love life as long as I’m living it, and show my love to my family every moment.” She, who has multiple health challenges, some of them life-threatening or at least “life-limiting,” had a joyous perspective and understanding of the fleeting beauty of life around us.

I too often take it for granted. So this afternoon, as I watched the rabbits trim down the dandelions, and the squirrels chase each other around the oak tree trunk, as I listened to the cardinals and wrens singing and watched the hesitation of the hummingbird as she came to the nectar feeder, I wrote this prayer of thank you’s…

For trees with new leaves
And hummingbirds whispering by
For crabapple blossoms carpeting my sidewalk
And maple blossoms twirling in the air.
For bird song and blossom,
Tree, root, leaf and flower
In every moment,
In every hour,
May I not forget to say
Again and again,
“Thank you, Lord.”

Testing… testing…

The next three weeks are devoted to testing here in the land of Lake Woebegone High School. So that’s why this cartoon is being posted…

 

Friday Five from RevGalBlogPals: April Showers Bring May Flowers

Thanks to Jan over at RevGals for this week’s Friday Five!

With the old adage “April showers bring May flowers,” let’s look at the weather and vegetation in our home areas to see if any May Flowers will be blooming.

Our crabapple tree out front — at its peak.

1. What spring flowers and plants do you see? Or will see sometime in the future?

After thinking spring would NEVER come, we are getting into good blooming season! Right now the daffodils and crabapple trees are finishing up, the forsythias are done, and buds are setting on the hydrangeas. For the first time, our lilac bush has set some bud clusters.

2. What kinds of weather are you experiencing in April?

This has been a weird month! We’ve had snow, sleet, rain and 80 degrees and humidity. I never know what I will be wearing from one week to the next.

3. What are the stereotypical harbingers of spring in your area? How about where you grew up?

Snowdrops are the first hint that we will not always have “winter but never Christmas!” They are closely followed by crocuses. These are pretty much the same heralds of spring as where I grew up in Ohio.

4. What season do you like best in your home area?

I love autumn. The humidity has dropped and the leaves are beautiful.

5. What is sprouting or blooming in your life? What do you wish for?

Family-wise, both daughters are launching towards the next part of their lives. The Johnnie graduates on Mother’s Day. Reedy Girl heads off to college (more on that later.) I continue to pray that they will find joy in the little things of their lives, and satisfaction in the ways that God uses their unique gifts for the Kingdom.

Personally, I’m praying for that right place to work professionally. While overnight per diem chaplaincy contributes (in a very SMALL way) to our bottom line, it wreaks havoc on my sleep cycle. So I am waiting on something which is a little less life-sucking in the way of my schedule.